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Forging Unbreakable Alliances: Lessons in Trust, Communication and Leadership with Robin Dreeke

In this thought-provoking episode of The Business Elevation Show – Where Good Matters, Chris was joined by Robin Dreeke, retired FBI Special Agent and former Chief of the Counterintelligence Behavioural Analysis Program.

Robin’s career took him into some of the highest-stakes environments imaginable — recruiting spies, working in counterintelligence, and navigating extreme human complexity. Yet, as this conversation revealed, his work has never been about manipulation or persuasion. Instead, it has always been about trust, psychological safety, and understanding human behaviour at its deepest level.

Together, Chris and Robin explored what it truly means to build unbreakable alliances — in leadership, business, families, communities, and even across ideological divides.

They discussed why influence is the wrong goal, how calm and context help us navigate chaos, and why creating environments where people feel safe is the foundation for innovation, collaboration, and progress.

Here are some insights from the interview you don’t want to miss:

Healthy Relationships as the Foundation for Good
Both Chris and Robin highlighted that “doing good in the world” starts with healthy, strong relationships. For Robin, the ultimate measure of “good” is how we positively lift each other up in our personal and professional lives.
Legacy Is Built Through Relationships
Robin shared that his greatest impact isn’t his professional accomplishments, but the relationships and legacy he leaves with his children. The skills he learned in high-stakes environments—like recruiting spies—translated most meaningfully into how he raised his family.
Three Pillars of Relationship-Building
Robin recommended focusing on three key elements in every interaction:
- Bring Positive Energy: Focus on a positive outlook, even when the world seems dark.
- Inspire Safety: Make others feel genuinely safe and comfortable engaging with you.
- Be a Great Student: Stay humble and curious, always be willing to learn from others.
Leadership Is About Others, Not Yourself
A pivotal lesson from Robin’s early Marine Corps days: true leadership is about focusing on others’ needs and helping them succeed—not self-promotion or seeking popularity.
Recruiting, Business, and Alliances—It’s About Solving Others’ Challenges
Whether recruiting spies or building alliances in business, Robin emphasised that successful relationships are about understanding and helping others solve their critical challenges. This means stepping outside your own concerns and being fully present for others.
Four Golden Keys to Effective Communication
To inspire trust and build alliances, Robin identified four essential behaviours:
- Seek Others’ Thoughts and Opinions
- Talk in Terms of Their Challenges and Priorities
- Show Non-judgmental Active Curiosity
- Empower People With Choices (give them a sense of control)
Impact One Person at a Time
Robin’s experience during 9/11 reinforced the idea that you don’t have to “save the world,” but you can make a difference by changing one life at a time through meaningful relationships and conversations.
Shift From “Influencing” to “Inspiring”
Rather than trying to persuade others to do what you want, Robin suggested leaders should aim to inspire others—unlocking motivation from within, rather than pushing from the outside.
The Value of Mentors and Networks
Both speakers discussed how having mentors, guides, and strong networks is crucial for growth, especially for those who are “first generation professionals” or blazing new trails.
The Final Message
It’s not about how people feel about you—it’s how you make them feel about themselves. Focus on inspiring others, making them feel safe, and being a resource for their success.

It’s not about how you make people feel about you that matters. It’s how you make them feel about themselves.
– Robin Dreeke

This is an episode for leaders, change-makers, and anyone seeking to communicate more authentically, lead more consciously, and contribute more meaningfully in a complex world.

You can listen to this Business Elevation Show interview with Robin Dreeke & Chris Cooper here. Alternatively on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Tunein, Amazon Music, iHeart Radio (latter US only).

More about Robin Dreeke:

Robin Dreeke is a retired FBI Special Agent and behavioural expert who served as Chief of the Counterintelligence Behavioural Analysis Program, where he honed his skills in building unbreakable alliances with spies, terrorists, and everyday professionals.

A sought-after keynote speaker, trainer, and author of bestsellers like *It’s Not All About “Me”* and *Sizing People Up*, Robin equips leaders with actionable strategies to master communication, foster trust, and drive team success.

His unique blend of high-stakes intelligence insights and practical tools transforms relationships and elevates business performance worldwide.